Study IV - Hold

Hold -- Arhats in a dream, Yafei Li, ca.2017

Hold -- Arhats in a dream, Yafei Li, ca.2017

Sixteen Arhats, Guan Xiu, ca.894

Last Tuesday, Tony said in the E-mail, "art is a form of faith". Recalling the previous three weeks, a man without faith has been using art to explore the power of faith. All this seems to be unconscious. People with faith maybe understand what I am doing more than I do. But I like this kind of unconsciousness. It is luxury. Art is a form of faith, and faith is a form of art. I am looking for them. I do not know where to go. I do not know if there is an end.

Yesterday, my mentor told me that he went to Dunhuang. Dunhuang has always been my dream. I want to see those ancient Chinese murals, especially early ones. He told me he loved those early murals. "Although the brush is naive and is not colorful. First time seeing it, so scared, quickly run out, calm down, go back seeing it, hold your breath, not dare to move." Perhaps this is the power of faith in painting.

This reminds me of the painting Sixteen Arhats by Guan Xiu. Tony also mentioned Arhats last week, and he asked why these Arhats' faces are so distorted. The picture he showed me is from this painting. They look like foreigners having bushy eyebrows, large eyes, hanging cheeks and high noses, seated in landscapes, leaning against pine trees and stones. They are unkempt and "eccentric". They are vagabonds and beggars who have left all worldly desires behind. "It was in a dream that I saw these Gods and Buddhas. After I woke up, I painted what I saw in the dream. So, I guess I can refer to these Luohans as 'Luohans in a dream'."

Study III - Reach

Reach -- Mandala in Larung Gar Buddhist Academy, Yafei Li, ca.2017

"Converted to Buddha, law, masters and monks

The eighth day of April, is the birthday of Shakyamuni

Kittens, puppies, piglets, lambs, calves, same as me

There is joy, sadness, fear of death"

In the afternoon, at Larung Gar Buddhist Academy, I mistakenly hit into the church. A master sat in the upper, and thousands of Lama students sat on the ground. A very young Lama boy sat besides me. He showed me his homework on his Chinese class. He wrote this poem with childish strokes, full of correction and endorsement from his teacher. He might be younger than ten. I wondered how he could write such a beautiful poem. Perhaps only this age can do it.

On the hill besides the Buddhist Academy, they built a Mandala, like a temple. Mandala is a symbol of order, contrasted with chaos. In the west, it is commensurate with heaven. A symbol of everything -- a human body, a temple, a palace, a city, a continent, an idea, a fantasy, also nothing. Fly to the heaven, from top to bottom, staring at the Mandala. Larung Gar had been cloudy for couple days. Finally it gave us ten minutes of sunshine when we reached the top of the hill.

Before painting this, I told my friends that I was going to ruin it when it was finished, like Lamas building and destroying a sand Mandala. Destroying a Mandala shows the illusory of the earth. Only the outer Mandala is destroyed. In their mind, they have learned more energy through the building practice. The power of the inner Mandala becomes more and more solid. It is also said that the works of Mandala show the life of the short-term perishable. It seems to warn us that life is long pay, short harvest, and lost pain.

However, in the moment I finished it, I did not have the courage to destroy it. I do not want to accept the short harvest, especially the pain of loss. After all, I am too helpless to destroy it, perhaps because I do not have such strong faith.

Study II - Long

Long -- paths of the soul, Yafei Li, ca.2017

Long -- paths of the soul, Yafei Li, ca.2017

A film, paths of the soul, a documentary should be called more precisely. It was released quietly in mainland China in 2017. Almost every cinema is occupied by Transformers at that time because of huge profit. There is even no shelter for this tiny documentary. I looked for a long time and found it in a very small cinema finally.

The story was recorded in 2015, which is the year of the horse, and is also a very meaningful year for Kangrinboge, the most mysterious mountain in Tibet. A lot of people in the small village wanted to join the pilgrimage team of Nima. There were a old man, a pregnant woman, a butcher, a disabled teenager, a little young girl...... Everyone had a different story and carried their own hopes. In order to reach the pilgrimage focus, Kangrinboge, this team of eleven saints set foot on a year-long, up to 2000 miles of pilgrimage road......

No climax, no ups and downs. On this long road, they had experienced birth, illness and death. With faith, they were able to open-minded look at everything. Finally, when they saw Potala Palace, when they stood at the foot of Kangrinboge, their hearts were excited but calm. The physical torture cast a continuation of their souls, and the strength of the soul should make them bearish on the body.

In the same year, 2015, after the four years of college life, before coming to Berkeley, I decided to drive from Beijing to Lhasa, and then to the foot of Everest. Two people, one car, 6000 miles, 25 days. We met two groups of saints pilgrimaging to Lhasa on the way. They were not as rich as those people in the documentary. No tractor followed the team. Just two or three, pulling a cart to the front, going back to the beginning, kowtowed.

Study I - Touch

Touch -- in front of Jokhang, Yafei Li, ca.2015

"Han people pay attention to education, but Tibetans pursue faith; One child admitted to Tsinghua or Peking University can make the Han family excited. One son becomes a living Buddha is a great honor of a Tibetan family; People lack of education feel unfamiliar with education. People without faith feel deceased in the presence of faith. A number of believers grovel in front of Jokhang everyday. The five members fall prostrate in obeisance -- the hands, the knees and the head touching the ground. Facing them, I absolutely do not have the desire of picking up my camera. Just want to find a small corner, quietly sitting, watching, listening......"

This is what I wrote in front of Jokhang in Tibet in 2015. Groveling in front of Jokhang is their daily compulsory course. Hands together, over the head, down to the chest, hanging on both sides, bending the knees, abdomen closing to the ground, arms forward, forehead touching the ground, fluctuating one bead of the rosary by hands. The series of action is done hundreds of times a day, every time with touch of fingers and rosary as the end. Touch to send their faith, and faith also supports their touch.